It is the week of Thanksgiving, which onsets the "holiday" season. As a single parent, the holidays brought a special set of emotions for me. The hustle and bustle of getting the presents for my four children, the holiday parties at work, the demands of everyone and everything - yet I felt so all alone. One of the major emotions that I felt was abandonment. Why was I raising these children alone, where was the support I needed to deal with all that it takes to be a parent, emotionally, spiritually and physically? I would find myself in depression from the onset of Thanksgiving week until the New Years night kiss of the New Year. I would tearfully buy presents, and resentfully wrap them and go into my bedroom and lament that the holidays found me alone, personally, year after year.
The answers began to come to me when I owned the feelings I was having each year. Why was it necessary to anesthetize my thoughts, emotions and my feelings. I had every right to "feel" my feelings - I didn't have the right to allow my feels to control me like clockwork according to a specific time of year. After studying a little bit, I found that my feelings actually had a name and it was called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Some of the suggestions that were given to deal with this disorder was one, to acknowledge that I had a right to the feelings; additionally, it is important to see this season as this season, not one of the past or of the future, but to acknowledge that today is today and live in today! Another suggestion is that I get outside of myself and seek out social outings that will have me helping others. Donating a gift to local church, volunteer at a homeless shelter, do something different with my family. The holidays didn't have to miserable, I just have to learn how to live through them.
- stress,
- fatigue,
- unrealistic expectations,
- overcommercialization,
- financial stress,
- the inability to be with one's family and friends.
All of the above loom over us through our day to day experience but it seem to be heightened by the holidays. We must believe that we are not alone spiritually in our journey to live this life in peace regardless of what the issues of life are and what emotions they bring. We are able to if you will, thread on the waters of life, through the suggestions given. Get out of your own way. There are beautiful events, memories and experiences going on every day in our lives don't let a set of calendar days take the joy of living from you.
These last few years I found myself away from family at core times of the year, the holidays. Again, this year I am away from family so as I prepare to go through this week of Thanksgiving, I am going to choose to be thankful. I am going to chose to feed the homeless, attend church and call my children and family often to ensure that this year the holidays will not control my emotions. I plan wholeheartedly to make it though the holidays joyfully. I made peace with my day to day experience and took the steps to realize that being alone is a choice as well as a state of mind. I still find myself a little upset that the holidays are so commercialized and the lack of income to buy every new toy, IPhone, etc. That is soon replaced with my peace that soon the holidays would be over and we can get back to "life" as we know it.
