The Skies Cry In Miami



The Skies Cry In Miami

This is a precursor to my next book but I'd like to share some of the highlights in a blog.  I have been in Miami, Florida since 2007 looking for a "new way of life."  Initially, the culture shock burst all my high hopes of the good life in Miami.  The people were rude and distance, no one smiled and I just couldn't get it. "All this sunshine and no one smiles." There is something about living in the sunshine all the time that makes people "strange."  Strange is the only word I can come  up with.  The fact that I work in substance abuse treatment and mental health only made being in Miami stranger.

Growing up up north, we were taught to honor our people (people of color); and the multicultures of Miami embraced it amongst themselves.  Yet, we as African Americans are not as protective and loving of one another, at least not what I can assess in my interactions with my folks here in Miami.  There is a predatory spirit and for every rich person there are more than enough poor people in Miami.  Unfortunately, they are poor in spirit. Territorial over their little corners, hurting each other because they don't like themselves.  It's like going 20 years back in history. Service for me was my entire life and sometimes I found myself crossing lines of clients and friends because I made the mistake of treating clients as friends and it cost me a position in a very prestigious company.  Coming from where I come from, a black woman, stereotyped, teenage mother, single parent and uneducated, I just wanted people to treat me like a human being, a person of value.  That is my philosophy but it is problematic for me because the bible is clear, "don't cast pearls among swine," but my heart cries "what about my people!"  Well, what I know is important is I have to live and I must respect that my value systems do not have to change because people are nasty.  I am to chose wisely who I allow in my inner circle, in my life - other than a professional relationship, can't cross the line.

So now I guess I know why people in Miami are so aloof, this is a predatory environment. Anytime you deal with a people who don't have and/or those that don't value themselves or their own, how in heaven name can they love and care for you.  Out of 100 of my case load on one position, 80 percent of the clients were Miami residents.  Tell me how do  you be homeless in your home town?  Homelessness here is an ways to an end.  An end that would allow people to utilize the many services that are available for the lost and turned out.  "So much for treating a man as he should be and he will become what he should be."

 

For me, I am called to a work that is honorable before God.  I made mistakes along this journey and I apologize for my misjudgment of character, but like all things I pay for my lessons.  My greatest days are before me.  I realize wholeheartedly that I am the spiritual compass of my family and I cannot guide them here in Miami.  Additionally, I can not get the grandmother and mother love I need to live in this life 1,000 miles away home.  As I often say there is a pre and post Miami and there are greater days ahead.  In the meantime, I will continue to pray for my people here in Miami, from the churches to the sidewalks... but like Keisha Cole, "I've had enough of no love."

The Purpose of Indecision!

There has been several events and months that have passed since I was able to get clarity enough to write.  So engrossed in the day to day events of my life, it seemed that my dreams, desires, goals, and inner visions were clouded for the purpose of money, security and employment.  In the abruptness of life, and the draining of my life force, my prayer has been, "please set me free."  The life we live is placed on so many levels.  What is important?  Is it security?  Is it peace of mind?  Is it settling for something that you know is so beneath you that it could only be an element that kills you slowly and softly, draining your creative energy and putting you in a box that is acceptable because it's what will make you conformable to the world around you.  Well, let me stop here and scream, "I have never been conformable!  That is not who I am nor who I want to be."  As I sit in this pause of my life, I am looking around me and considering my next steps very carefully.  I don't want to be driven my ego, money, the world's view of security.  Going forward, I want to be driven by love and the creative energy of God.  I want to live a life that will allow me to learn, grow and develop and continue on this spiritual life that the only law of life is love.  I can't package who I am and I can't conform to something that will kill all of who I am.  So as I deal with the purpose of indecision, I accept that it is the time and attention that we take to move us to the place God has for us.  That life has abruptly slammed the doors in your life and left you in the hallway of life waiting for the direction that God has for the rest of your life.  So, I wait, in the hell we call the hallway.  I won't beat myself up, I won't try to over think it.  I will pray and take baby steps and allow the path to grow brighter and brighter.