The Purpose of Indecision!

There has been several events and months that have passed since I was able to get clarity enough to write.  So engrossed in the day to day events of my life, it seemed that my dreams, desires, goals, and inner visions were clouded for the purpose of money, security and employment.  In the abruptness of life, and the draining of my life force, my prayer has been, "please set me free."  The life we live is placed on so many levels.  What is important?  Is it security?  Is it peace of mind?  Is it settling for something that you know is so beneath you that it could only be an element that kills you slowly and softly, draining your creative energy and putting you in a box that is acceptable because it's what will make you conformable to the world around you.  Well, let me stop here and scream, "I have never been conformable!  That is not who I am nor who I want to be."  As I sit in this pause of my life, I am looking around me and considering my next steps very carefully.  I don't want to be driven my ego, money, the world's view of security.  Going forward, I want to be driven by love and the creative energy of God.  I want to live a life that will allow me to learn, grow and develop and continue on this spiritual life that the only law of life is love.  I can't package who I am and I can't conform to something that will kill all of who I am.  So as I deal with the purpose of indecision, I accept that it is the time and attention that we take to move us to the place God has for us.  That life has abruptly slammed the doors in your life and left you in the hallway of life waiting for the direction that God has for the rest of your life.  So, I wait, in the hell we call the hallway.  I won't beat myself up, I won't try to over think it.  I will pray and take baby steps and allow the path to grow brighter and brighter.