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Saturday, December 4, 2010

Learning the Value of Self Care

It has taken the better part of my life to learn how to truly care for myself, to be gentle to myself. To be able to accept that I make mistakes but I am not a mistake. That I have experienced shame and guilt but I am inot dentified by any one experience of my life except to love and be loved. As long as I live and continue to breathe, I have another opportunity to make better choices. All of my life I was shaped and formed to be a caregiver. It had gotten to a point where all the work that I did defined my very existence. I had lost my voice, my sense of self and all things that determined my life were extended activities not internal care. When the foundation of my work, my children were adults, and everyone' need took precedent over my own - there was a breakdown. For me, the breakdown came with isolation, experiencing new people and new experiences, only to come to a point where the familiar became all that I longed for. With new eyes, I look at the world as an adventure and not a burden. I have accepted the mistakes of my past as learning experiences and have learned to automatically request internally "my forgiveness" for every memory of the past that caused me or others any pain. I don't know how anyone else experiences transitions of their life but I know mine has been a wonderful experience. I have been given a new life, new eyes and new desires and it feels really good. Each day I wake with anticipation of the what the day will bring, and what will I learn from the experiences of the day. Each day for me now is a new beginning in a real and tangible way. This is getting better and better and even in my alone time, its then that I take the time to pray, to regroup and revitalize to continue the journey. If I did not learn to care for myself, I could not continue to care for others effectively. My lesson has been well learned, now its time to practice it daily.

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